I've been writing this week about Christmas Memories, and I have to tell you about Hazel Marie.  Hazel Marie was married to my moms father. We called him Grandpa Doc, as he was a Doctor, and Hazel Marie worked in his home office where he treated local people in Lakewood.  My actual grandmother, Stella died before I was born.  So I only knew Hazel Marie.

I guess we liked Hazel, although this woman was absent from any kind of real decorum or good taste.  If something was totally free, or exceedingly cheap, she was all about it. She laughed way too loud, was a terrible driver and made her living by playing the harp at funerals.  She wore tons of fake fur, and knitted 23 hours a day. Plus, she had one of those short, plastic white Christmas trees that spun with a light that also spun and had three different colors on it.  She was an interesting soul for sure.

But what really solidified in our memories was Hazel Marie's feeble attempt at Christmas gift giving.  Making it clear, they had money, she was just - well -  cheap!  One year she crocheted two hangers together in various colors and gave them to us as gifts. (They were sturdy, I gotta admit).  One year for all the girls, (including the 50 year olds) colorful, adhesive contact paper wrapped around paper clips as necklaces and bracelets. But the grand finale was the following.

One year Hazel Marie crocheted all of the boys, (including the 50 year olds) colorful jockstraps!  Why? No one on this planet will never really know.  Probably saw it in some rouge knitting magazine in 1972 and went with it.  Few bucks for yarn and she was good to go.  I was young, maybe ten, and I didn't get it for a lot of reasons. Now, I'm way older, I still don't get it for every reason. But we all took them and thanked her for her effort.

As silly as all of that was and is, we have laughed about it for decades after. All of her tacky gifts that were designed with us, and her inheritance clearly in mind. Every family has a Hazel Marie in some regard.  She outlived Doc and I'm sure enjoyed the fruits of his labor for the time she had left.  We still laugh about her and those silly Christmases that were so long ago.

BTW -  I still have the hanger, it's in Baldwin-Wallace Colors, so it must have been my moms as she was teaching there then.  But the jockstrap?   

NO!

Merry Christmas!