Tuesday, 20 February 2024 03:53

Am Scared

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I am going into oral surgery to have my wisdom teeth removed today, and I have never been more afraid to do something. I haven't had any surgery whatsoever and am horrified by the idea of it all, from the procedure to the recovery. It's going to be rough. 

I'm not overly afraid of snakes or spiders. As the WQMX night owl, I'm certainly not afraid of the dark. Public speaking, the number one most common fear, could not be less intimidating to me, naturally. Being on an airplane is a fun time for me, and I like to jump up and down in elevators whenever I'm on one. Confined spaces aren't my favorite thing, but I'm hardly claustrophobic. Etc. 

On the other hand, there's definitely some stuff that freaks me out. I don't like germs or sickness. Komodo Dragons and other critters are known to spook me. One of my biggest phobias, though, is the fear of heights. I'm not so much afraid of the heights themselves as I am falling. I get really uneasy around railings, as many of them are lower than my own center of gravity. That major apprehension still pales in comparison to my two biggest fears, however, and of course I'll be encountering both through this operation. 

My second biggest fear is needles. I can just barely tolerate being poked for a shot and will avoid them altogether unless they're a necessity. I'm an organ donor and I love the idea of doing a blood drive, but I just couldn't fathom willingly letting someone jab me as such. It's horrifying, and that's just my unwavering opinion. Apparently, they have to jab me with an I.V. in order to knock me out. I figured it was the gas which put me to sleep, but I was appalled to learn otherwise and have since been panicking over it. The gas is nitrous, I guess.

Beyond that, my single biggest fear is getting my teeth knocked/pulled out. It's always been a spine-tickling notion for me, and I'm absolutely horrified for my surgery.  I worry that the anesthesia won't actually work and that I'll be totally physically immobilized but still mentally conscious, thereby feeling everything. It would be like sleep-paralysis, if that helps describe what I'm trying to convey, and that suffering would be nothing short of torturous to endure. The possibility of it is next-to-nothing but not totally unheard of, supposedly. Even a routine dental cleaning and checkup is an awful time, every time, and I cringe just thinking about them scraping my pearly whites. 

Since it's the culmination of my biggest fears, I've been putting off having my wisdom teeth removed for years now, but the time has come. I know a lot of people go through much worse medically, so please forgive me if I'm coming across dramatic. I'm just beyond scared and nervous. 

Wish me luck today; hopefully, it all goes okay. I'm off through the rest of this week to recover; so, until next time, take care!  

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